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Tuesday 5 February 2013

Fight Fire With Fire

The beginning of the end. Doesn't that shit sound familiar? We have managed to survive all kinds of evil and yet some people are not satisfied with their lives. Some pussies just want to watch the world burn by cursing our world with destruction. And yet somehow, we lived to survive the another apocalypse. Yes, it was the Mayan's Apocalypse. And let me get this straight, I survived that shit like the matrix. By the end, I stood tall on my bed with my devil horns. But some people took that as an excuse to plug in their music players and play crap music! This world hardly caters for Metal because they don't know its powers. Metal is a form of resistance, a protection so pure that when clouds come in contact with it...Zeus bursts into laughter. Did you know how some Japanese people survived those American atomic bombs? Yep, you guessed it right. They were listening to fucking metal when it was all going down. And unlike others, I took note of that fact and made sure I had metal piercing my ears during the Mayan Apocalypse. I saw things....things that cannot be unseen. But my metal was there and I rocked my way through the darkness. So, I bet you're wondering now what piece of musical genius withstood the forces of evil. And guess what? It was the Evil of Metal. Metal knows what's coming, and it know's where you're going. Therefore, I have been contacted by metal once again to remind you guys of the utter horse shit you've been listening to. It is unbearable, disgusting and disgraceful. While the evil of metal saved my life, I would like to save your ass. The night of the apocalypse, I took out my ancient weapon of metal. Although my ears bled, I knew that this was my only hope to counter this fucked up curse. And so, ladies and gentlemen, the song that will save you from future destruction. Metal's secret weapon. FIRE!!!!


Thursday 11 October 2012

Whiplash

When was the last time you had a painful neck from just rocking out to a song? I presume you can't remember. It's because you guys are still listening to today's bullshit. And I don't know how to break this down for you guys, but you guys need to be electrocuted. You guys should know by now that you just don't jam to song, you guys should be hitting your heads on the wall till there is blood all over the place. Now that can be considered a good metal work out. Can you imagine how many calories you fat people would burn? Unfortunately, kids these says don't know the real essence of rocking out. If you continue to listen to lady gaga, nicki minaj or even your parents, you guys are gonna end up in a ward eating cereal for the rest of your life. That's life! So stop listening to horse shit and listen to some fucking metal. And that's why you guys have me, this is where you score your monthly dope which in this case is good old head crushing metal. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the biggest fucking metal band in the world. METALLICA. Thanks and metal off!


Saturday 25 February 2012

Boredom Syndrome

Now as you all know, everyone gets bored. But the question is why? We got so much to do around us yet still sit around accepting the fact there is nothing to do. Think about the people back in the 60's and 70's. They didn't have no TV's, Computers, Video games or any of the tech shit even little kids got these days. What they had was good music and that's what brought them joy. Don't you guys think Music is a living being? Think about it, When you are feeling high, sad, fucked up, crazy or even horny, there is a song that will always change that. But fuck that shit, All you got playing on the radio's is fucking songs about "What I did" or "I will fuck that bitch right to left" and let's not forget about Lady Gaga. God, I hate her. Anyway Music is supposed to be about making you feel better. Now i can bet you all would be thinking, how can a metal song possibly make you feel any better. Truth is, I can't think of any right now either. But I can tell you this, There was a band back in the days who did exactly that. Listen to them and tell me i'm right. Thanks and metal off.


Sunday 12 February 2012

Metal Journey Continued

Sorry for being away for so long, had a lot of things to conquer before I could continue on this journey we're on. Now, I want to talk about an emotion that has taken lives for over a century now. It turns people into some ugly mean fuckers, no doubt. So here I am again to let you all know there is hope. I was able to conquer that demon in my days and if you listen, you should be able to do that as well. Don't let your rage take control of your body as it leads to mind fucking annihilation. Try to be calm and fuck the anger, Ladies and gentlemen...Let's listen to St.Anger.


Thursday 22 December 2011

Recovery

Now people, if you listened to the song in my last post. Bravo! And if you didn't, you guys are still under mind control. When was the last time you listened to a heavy metal song completely without skipping it or closing it half way. You never have, Have you? All hope is not lost. So please people, listen to me because I ain't bullshitting you. Here is a song that will help you redeem your soul. Till next time folks! Thanks and Metal Off.


Wednesday 7 December 2011

The Beginning of Redemption

All the commercial music these days is making your kids retarded. People need to listen to heavy metal to get some sense back in their daily lives. So indulge your family in some metal right now. You could start things off by listening to Am I Evil? by Diamond Head. That should get some metal nerves in your brain ticking. Oh and remember...headbanging is not a side effect, its natural just like diarrhea. Don't fight it! Thanks and Metal Off.